"Things She Was Always VERY "She was always VERY I never did figure that out because she only had two kids that she never allowed to do anything or go anywhere or take any lessons or do any sports and she didn t have a job I have no idea what that lady did all day I always had to do the dishes vacuum take out the garbage and fold the laundry including my parent s underwear super upsetting Anyways so I purposely misspelled a word so that I would NOT win and therefore have to Hurrah For The Blackshirts!: Fascists and Fascism in Britain Between the Wars explain to my mom that I had won and needed a ride to the next level of competitionAlso I could not help but worry about WHAT IF I HAD TO GO TO THE BATHROOM DURING THE SPELLING BEE That was a terrible worry of mine for many years Not specifically needing to pee during spelling bees but needing to go in a public restroom You are probably thinking I am a germophone No It was because I watched anpisode of Magnum PI where TC s child got "Kidnapped When He Went "when he went the bathroom The mother had let the child go by himself and the bad guys smuggled him out the bathroom window Luckily TC was good buddies with Mangum PI so the kid was recovered by the Adam Smith: An Enlightened Life end of the show But my parents did not know ANY private investigators So who was going to find me if I got kidnapped from the bathroomI m pretty sure thatpisode really affected my mom also because she would not ven let me go "to the bathroom alone But instead of graciously accompanying me she would get really upset and act like it was "the bathroom alone But instead of graciously accompanying me she would get really upset and act like it was HUGE inconvience Knowing that it was a big deal made me just have to go ven It was an xhausting couple of years Anyway the point is that I purposely lost the spelling bee and therefore saved myself from a life of fame that would have surely spiralled into anorexia and drugs One of the greatest bad ass ballerinas of all time Gelsey Kirkland s book is a wild testament to self mutilation in pursuit of ballet feet a sort of binding for art s sake to ballet body aka anorexia and cocaine snuffling and other forms of rollercoaster recreationHer romance with Mikhail Baryshnikov gets a bit overwrought in places but for the most part whether you like ballet or not I guarantee you ll bury your nose in this one for months to come It saddens me when readers rate a memoir based on their perceptions of an author s choices and strugglesDancing on My Grave chronicles Kirkland s journey to prima ballerina status while battling multiple addictions and bulimia As you muddle through some of the cringe worthy details of her relationship with Mikhail Baryishnikov you ll probably find some of the passages in the book difficult to digestStill Kirkland is brave and achingly honest in this memoir I applaud Kirkland for her yes wide open portrayal of the xpectations and demands placed on professional dancers If you ve ver seen Kirkland dance whether live or on film you already know that she s talented strong and xtremely gifted Just once I would love to see Kirkland s memoir rated for the searing candid account that it is instead of read reviewers commentary on the mistakes she made along the way Update Lord I d forgotten how difficult it is to read this book Gelsey s pain is palpable What is perhaps ven distressing is reading the response here on goodreads Gelsey never intended to promote anorexia drug addiction or promiscuity She doesn t deserve such contempt from readers My own reservations aside it was brave of her to write so candidly about addiction and mental illness and of the very real abuses visited upon her It s clear to me that she Black Heart, Red Ruby earnestly wishes to improve herself and the culture thatxploited her I respect her for that. Dary partnership with Mikhail Baryshnikov her agonizing descent into drugs and her struggles to rise agai. .
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Bleah Why did I want to read
"This Book I Read It "book I read it ago when I was interested in Barishnikov s defection from Russia and also when I was following the careers of ballerinas he danced with Why I was struck to read it again is beyond meThis is a pitiful story Gelsey Kirkland was a gifted dancer but from the beginning lost and insecure The daughter of an older alcoholic father he had 5 marriages and 5 heart attacks she spends the rest of the book seeking for someone to love her She is immature foolish and destructive at an age when most people have grown up She falls into ating disorders then cocaine d I had to stop reading this book It was too painful The author iswas a famous ballerina who was motionally and arguably physically abused by George Balanchine the founder of her ballet company and American ballet as we know it actually I thought it would be fun to read about her stories of being a ballerina Boy was I wrong I had to stop because it was causing me pain to read about the things she had to do for ballet some of which was also brought on by her own mental issues When she asked Balanchine to help "her with her significant physical pain at the age of I believe 17 he pooh "with her significant physical pain at the age of I believe 17 he pooh it and told her to drink red wine What Before I became a mom I possibly could have read this book The abuse she underwent would have been something I could have compartmentalized But all I could see and feel was an abused girl being treated as a sophisticated woman Even if only a fraction of what she says is true she was a pawn in the world of ballet as Balanchine has created it for us Imagine reading a book that makes you feel ill about something you love and find beautiful that in fact the man who created the version of that thing as you know it was doing shortcuts dumbing things down not doing the proper version of it because he wanted to ram it down our throats and make money Now imagine that he put his staff through physical torture deliberately I don t know if I can New Plant Parent: Learn the Ways of Plant Parenthood ever see ballet again I had to stop It was truly interesting though to read this book after reading 2 other novels about ballerinas I can seexactly where the other authors obtained some of their ideas from for their books both because they probably lived it and because Ms Kirkland lived it I might have been able to keep going Dreaming Me: An African-American Woman's Buddhist Journey except that Ms Kirkland had so much venom for Balanchine who was her boss for the portion of the book I read that the reading was feeling toxic to me Balanchineven played Ms Kirkland against her sister and she herself played along I couldn t help but feeling I had been recruited unknowingly into being Ms Kirkland s therapist and not a good one at that When this book originally was published it was before internet and the cable news ra so perhaps it was less jarring of a read when not also accompanied by the daily bad news that we cannot scape from in the internet age If you want to continue to like ballet then don t read this book My dance teacher told me about this book and mentioned Gelsey Kirkland s hellish descent into drug abuse ЯED eating disorders messed up relationshipst al I kept reading and reading and the book was good but I was like okay so her relationships are totally messed up but where s the coke Well believe me it takes awhile but it sure does deliver the goods At one point she actually does a line of sweet and low I remember that was a joke in high school Anyway this was totally ntertaining a well written trashy memoir I really lost patience with this book It was at least 100 pages too long and seemed to be written too soon before any of the wounds had healed She wrote with a chip on her shoulder which failed to voke any pity from me and I came away without a solid understanding of why she put herself through all of that in order to dance Did she love it If you watch videos of her dancing it s incredible but all you see in this book is the pain and the hurt feelings and a lot of poor me Plus are we really suppose. The shattering story of a dream which became a heartbreaking nightmare for one of America's most famous D to believe that she
"Uit Drugs Cold Turkey All "drugs cold turkey all her own This book is gossipy and melodramatic and largely ugly The Lost Art of Reading Natures Signs everything that Suzanne Farrell s book is not Read hers or Toni Bentley s instead they show that it s possible to write about the world of ballet which is admittedly a tough world to live in graciously andlegantly This book has neither of those ualities The cover claims this starts as a fairy tale That is untrueNonetheless the first 56 of the book were fascinating for one Moreno entirely uninitiated to ballet Gelsey Kirkland sxplorations uestions insistence on pursuing art for art s sake in the form of dramatic dance gave me I think previously unknown insight into the Monsieur Pain expressiveness and creativity of movementHer relationship with Mikhail Baryshnikov freuently made me want to scream His two dimensionality outside the ballet and her dependence on him werexcruciating But he redeemed himself somewhat in his however misguided attempts at a kind of stand offish help and support during her battles with drug addiction Maybe in a limited way he loved herAfter 56 of the book it becomes nightmarish in a drug induced haze I suppose there isn t much A Spark of Light: the fearless new novel from the Number One bestselling author else she can say for herself in thearly 80 s drugs prevent that kind of insight and analysis that had previously characterized her writing and she could only write that she socialized with those who supported her habit missed lots of appointments and gave performances not worthy of the skill that she had slaved to develop but which were often critically acclaimedFortunately she did ultimately work through her addiction by finding what appears to have been one of the first mutually supportive and creatively and spiritually matched relationships she had with a man in her life It sounds as though she is turned to learning up a storm of classical greats and beginning to share her knowledge with up and coming dancers finding a way of healthfully nurturing and being nurtured Wikipedia says she s doing well Gelsey Kirkland s dancing 5 stars Gelsey Kirkland s memoir of dancing meh Some here indicate this is reuired reading for any aspiring ballet dancer and I ll grant you that it will give you an ye opening look at the dark side of the dance world But the focus here is on a mess of a woman who would have found destruction no matter her vocation I did find it an interesting insight into the world of Balanchine though so for that there was value "Beyond That However I "that however I an aspiring dancer could do better spending their time studying the lives of successful people who happened to dance than to focus on this successful dancer who was a mess of a person I think I might have liked this book IF 1 I knew who Gelsey Kirland was Apparently she was a very famous ballerina and ven danced with Baryshnikof yes I totally made up how to spell that But she was pretty famous a few years before I was bornso I missed out 2 my thighs were not flabby and did not touch The Exhaustion Breakthrough each other when I stand normally My dream is to have those strong muscular ballet thighs Or if I could have the really thin kind that have a space between them Man my jeans would wear out WAY less often if there was space instead of rubbing when I walked Anyways I was under the impression that this book was about the lurid life filled with anorexia and cocaine Not that I particularly supportither of those things but they sure would have made for an interesting book Instead the book briefly mentioned those two interesting things and decided to focus instead on boring stuff like contract disputes and whining by the author There were a couple days that she didn t The Exhaustion Breakthrough: Unmask the Hidden Reasons You're Tired and Beat Fatigue for Good eat I think that was the anorexia part And about 20 pages from thend she got hooked on coke Even then not so Supplemental Book excitingOk so it got me to thinking about how my life could have spiraled out of control andnd with me on cocaine But by some smart self defeating actions I saved myself It all began with the 4th grade spelling beeI am a good speller I don t always type Allerinas Gelsey Kirkland who chronicles her brilliant start as a dancer with George Balanchine her legen.